M.I.LOVE no.4 / Breaking Up - “It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.”

     

             Many of us have experienced the pain of a broken heart when a relationship comes to an end. One of the things we do to self-soothe is to sit, or lay in bed, while listening to our favorite “sad” love songs over and over and over again. And then one day, you just stop listening. How did you get over your breakup?

          Recently someone very close to my heart broke up with their longtime love. They said the break up was mutual. This is/was their first love. I’ve been offering words of advice to help the person get through this painful time but I know that my words have only offered temporary relief from the pain and sadness. I know that things just have to run their course. This got me thinking… “How do you mend a broken heart? How do you get over a breakup? What lessons can we learn when a relationship comes to an end?” Now I’m not talking about the negative things we might say about the other person, like… he/she is just a jerk, cheater, insensitive, a**hole, too possessive, too jealous, too controlling, crazy, cheap, depressing, selfish, etc. What I mean is – “What does the end of a relationship show us/teach us about ourselves?” I’ve decided to explore this further and in the future will write some blog posts on this subject. For starters, I’d like your help in answering this…

        How do you mend a broken heart? How do you get over a breakup?

       When it comes to relationships and their ending, I think many of us have heard the saying…

“It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

       But it sure doesn’t feel like it when you’re experiencing the pain of heartache/heartbreak. We feel the loss like we’re an addict going through withdrawal.

“Love is the hardest drug to quit, but it is even harder when it is taken away.” (author unknown)

       Maybe you noticed that things were different between the two of you. You may have felt the person distancing themselves from you. You may have had a feeling that the end was near…

       Or it happened suddenly…

“Breaking up. It happens kind of suddenly. One minute, you’re holding hands walking down the street, and the next minute, you’re lying on the floor crying and all the good CDs are missing.” – Kennedy Kasares

        The pain is excruciating. You didn’t know you could hurt this much. You really want this pain to stop. Time goes by, it still hurts, and you think – ‘Is time really on my side?’ because…

“They say that time heals all wounds but all it’s done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you.” – Ezbeth Wilder

Remember…

“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”